Rarely do we use the word genius around these parts, but this is pure…genius. No more working out for the ladies, you can just MILF yourself online now. That’s right, no more treadmill or dieting. Just fake it with this handy website.

MILF Yourself

I don’t think I’ve ever seen one celebrity so blatantly crushing on another. Ladies, remember, the first rule of Cougar Patrol is don’t talk about Cougar Patrol. The second rule of Cougar Patrol, is don’t let Brad Pitt know you’re crushing on his porn star stache.

I’m pretty sure that Nicollette Sheridan was flashing some sort of secret Cougar gang sign last night at the SAG awards. I really don’t think there’s any other explanation for what she’s doing with her hands.

I think the only way to find out will be for me to head down to the bar tonight, throw some Pat Benatar on the juke box, and start making this sign to see if it will bring any Cougars out of the woodwork.

Lisa Rinna attend the SAG awards last night. That’s as in the Screen Actors Guild, although the SAG acronym goes a long way in Hollywood these days.

It was yet another reminder that Playboy would be going all Cougar on our asses very shortly.

If I could turn back time, you wouldn’t be a Cougar. You be a Cougar in Training and not nearly as taboo.

Demi Moore and bag boy Ashton Kutcher made the rounds this week in Washington D.C. They even stopped by to say hello to Oprah!.

They then proceeded to babble something about human trafficking and how they want to put an end to it. Oprah concurred and everyone in the crowd went wild.

So there you have it, Demi and Ashton are solving the world’s problems, one sex worker at a time.

Ladies, this is not appropriate Cougar behavior. Never allow yourself to be photographed like so or you’ll never score a younger man. Photos like this only lead to one thing…Friday nights with a tub of Haagen-Dazs.

Madge should know better than this, but personally I don’t think she cares now that she has her paws on A-rod.

You’ve got to applaud the casting of Connie Britton as Coach Taylor’s wife on “Friday Night Lights”. I’m sure when FNL is ready to jump the shark, Britton’s character will be in a messy divorce and a relationship with a player will ensue.

But until then, we won’t hold our breath.

Note to self, anytime you hear this song played in a bar there’s a Cougar in the house. I’m pretty sure it’s their cat call.