Feb 12 2009
Dennis Rodman Hearts Cougars
The man doesn’t mess around. I think it’s go Cougar, or go home for this dress wearing former NBA star.
Feb 12 2009
Sharon Stone Needs A Tune Up
Ugh. My basic instincts tell me to recommend a six month membership to the gym, along with a visit to the plastic surgeon, for Sharon Stone. This Cougar looks like a beat up Pinto at this point.
Feb 12 2009
Did Lisa Rinna Just Suck On A Lemon?
I’m sorry but that’s got to hurt, right? I don’t care how much collagen you stuff in those puppies, it’s not natural to have lips like that, and it’s got to feel uncomfortable. If not physically, then at least mentally because there’s no way that Lisa Rinna doesn’t get asked if she was punched in the face on a daily basis.
Feb 03 2009
Cougar Anthem: John Cougar Mellencamp’s “Hurt So Good”
Not only is this a Cougar anthem, but John Mellencamp’s nickname is John Cougar. What could be more befitting than that. All I can say is that whoever gave Mellencamp that nickname had vision. Over thirty years later, that nickname is now a term of endearment for lovely ladies over the age of 30. Brings a tear to my eye.
Feb 03 2009
Sarah Palin Is Still Bringing It
Wow, Sarah Palin is still bringing it, even after the campaign is over. Hooker boots? The Captain approves.
You know, if McCain had won the election, I would have gladly handed Palin the title of Head Cougar in Charge. Unfortunately, until Palin makes the jump to Washington, that office will be held by the one and only Demi Moore.
Jan 30 2009
MILF Yourself
Rarely do we use the word genius around these parts, but this is pure…genius. No more working out for the ladies, you can just MILF yourself online now. That’s right, no more treadmill or dieting. Just fake it with this handy website.
Jan 26 2009
Tina Fey Hearts Brad Pitt’s Moustache
I don’t think I’ve ever seen one celebrity so blatantly crushing on another. Ladies, remember, the first rule of Cougar Patrol is don’t talk about Cougar Patrol. The second rule of Cougar Patrol, is don’t let Brad Pitt know you’re crushing on his porn star stache.
Jan 26 2009
Nicollette Sheridan Spotted Flashing Cougar Gang Signs
I’m pretty sure that Nicollette Sheridan was flashing some sort of secret Cougar gang sign last night at the SAG awards. I really don’t think there’s any other explanation for what she’s doing with her hands.
I think the only way to find out will be for me to head down to the bar tonight, throw some Pat Benatar on the juke box, and start making this sign to see if it will bring any Cougars out of the woodwork.
Jan 26 2009
Lisa Rinna Attended The SAG Awards
Lisa Rinna attend the SAG awards last night. That’s as in the Screen Actors Guild, although the SAG acronym goes a long way in Hollywood these days.
It was yet another reminder that Playboy would be going all Cougar on our asses very shortly.
